Things Kids Should Know
I dreamed about my forever family for a long time. Where I would
live, what my room would look like, what my family would be like.
However, getting a new family meant I would be getting more than
just a new set of parents:
A new set of family rules and boundaries to follow.
A new group of friends.
Maybe a new school and a new town.
Even a new bedtime or pets!
It was a little scary...
All the new stuff, including my forever family members, was a lot to
get used to. Remember to be honest about your feelings with your new
parent (s) and to think of things that would help you feel more
comfortable. Your ideas matter!
Do I have to love my new family immediately?
I was nervous about having to love my new family immediately. I was
also not sure what to call my new parent (s). Don’t worry, you will know
what to do when the moment comes. It can take time for new families to
grow close to each other - after all you’ve just met!
You may need to unlearn stuff too.
I had to unlearn some of the things I was already doing, like how to
brush my teeth well.
Things that make your life in your new family go easier:
- Using your words and telling your new family how you are feeling -
scared, sad, mad, or happy!
- Blowing bubbles or squeezing a stress toy when you are upset.
- Being open to learning new things and trying a new routine
- Telling adults how you are feeling (your case worker or mom or
- Writing a journal or making artwork.
- Ask to be part of an activity, like story hour, Sunday school at
church, or sports.
- Listen to music
What Forever Means
Forever means that your birth family is now
part of your
past. For some reason, they were
not able to take care of
you. Adults whose job
it is to take care of kids
determined that you
needed other people to take care of
This is your ‘forever’ family.
When you are adopted, you may not see your
birth family again
until you are an adult and
maybe not even then.
It is okay to miss them and think about them.
a part of what makes you, you! Just
as much as your
forever family is going to make
new memories with you and shape
you as you grow
up too. Sometimes writing a letter to your
family to say goodbye helps.