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Thomas and Rebecca
Wisconsin

Basic Info

Thomas

Age: 58
Sex: Male
Race/Ethnicity: Caucasian
Religion:

Rebecca

Age: 56
Sex: Female
Race/Ethnicity: Caucasian
Religion:

Child Preferences

Age: 3 to 7 years old
Sex: Male
Max Number of Children: 1
Race/Ethnicity: African American, Mixed

Special Needs the Family is Open To:

Environment

State: Wisconsin
Neighborhood:
Residency:
Years Together: 24
Children in the Home: 1
Pet(s):

Work

Thomas

Occupation: Design engineer

Rebecca

Occupation: Study Coordinator

Adoption Agency

Agency: Lifelink Adoption
Worker: Claire O'dea
Worker: claire_odea@lifelinkadoption.org
City: Fitchburg
State: Wisconsin
Zip: 53711

Preference Description

We value kindness, a sense of humor, and wanting to be part of a family. We would like to adopt a child that likes to have family, friends, school, and pets. We encourage sports (if the child is interested). We will consider ADHD oppositional behavior.

Child Preferences

Hello, We have been married for 24 years and would like to adopt an African-american boy, 3-7 years old. We are also open to adopting two siblings (2 boys or 1 boy, 1 girl) but our homestudy is not currently updated to account for a sibling adoption. The age range would be the same (3-7 years old) for a sibling adoption. We are parents of an active 8 year old son. He is looking forward to a brother and we're looking forward to having another active boy in the house. A child/ren that is kind, a good sense of humor, fun, plays well with kids, likes animals, and wants to be in a family would fit well with our family.

Introduction

Hello, Our family consists of two parents (late forties) and one 8 year old son. We have been married for 24 years. In 2009, we became parents by adopting our son from Ethiopia when he was 2 years old. We enjoy being parents and want to have another child in the family. We value kindness, sense of humor, compassion, being fair, and liking animals (dogs and cats). We support our son in his interest in sports and school and would support any of our children in their academic, athletic, or musical interests. Our son is in 3rd grade. He is out-going, fun, smart, and a great kid. He wants a brother that is African-american. My husband is a design engineer with a quiet, friendly demeanor. I (the mom) work at a chemistry laboratory. We consider ourselves friendly, compassionate, fun, active, and adaptable to life. A good sense of humor in our family is a great thing! We have 1 dog and 3 cats. We like to be outside and active. We live in a small town of ~1800 people. The nearby public schools are excellent. We are located near a city of ~180,000. The city offers a children's museum, parks, zoo, and additional sporting activities, and cultural events. We go to festivals, parks, and sporting events in the city. The city also offers medical facilities and supportive therapies. We want to add to our family by adopting an African-American boy or siblings, 3 to 7 years old. We hope our next child/ren will be capable of kindness, sense of humor, making friends, and wants to be part of a family. We know that it may take time for our next child/ren to feel like he is part of our family. However, we are patient and know the wait will be worth the enjoyment of having another child in the house.

Home and Community

We live in a small town outside of a larger city of ~180,000. Our house is a modern style 3-bedroom, 3-bathroom home, located on a quiet residential street. We have a large yard and some woods to play in. We also bicycle to several parks, the bike trail, and the grade school. We are active in the community by volunteering with the community center, participating in family nights sponsored by the school, chaperones for school trips, and attending sporting events for our son. We were soccer coaches for one season but the kids have outgrown our coaching ability. We did enjoy the experience of coaching 12 kids that were 5-6 years old. We still volunteer to assist the soccer coach.

Our lifestyle is informal. We try not to over-schedule our lives. We both work full-time outside of the home. One of us and our son will have breakfast together and take him to school or summer camp activities. He is picked up in the afternoon, we relax for a bit, make sure homework is done, and have supper. We shot some hoops (basketball), play catch,and/or take our dog for a walk in the evening. We go camping 1-2 times each year. We try to take a vacation every year. I take our dog (Sabrina) to the dog park 1-2 times/week. Sabrina weighs ~15 pounds and loves kids. My husband works on his racecar that he has built. Our son is involved in soccer, flag football, and basketball throughout the year. He loves to be outside and active. During the winter, we go sledding and skiing. During the summer, we go to a nearby beach to swim. We also attend sports activities. Summer camp is available in conjunction with a fun summer school program. If our next child/ren are interested in these activities, we will certainly have the children participate. However, if he has different interests, we will certainly support and encourage other interests.

Parenting Experience

We have prepared to be parents for a child from foster care by reading numerous books regarding difficult adoptions, bonding, older child adoptions, sibling rivalry, ADHD, attachment focused parenting, anxious children. We completed on-line courses regarding trans-racial adoption. Attended seminars about older child adoption. As part of our home study requirements, we fulfilled a state required 30 hour training about adoption. Our son has ADHD so we already see a therapist and a psychiatrist to help him. We also have discussions with the school staff regarding what helps our son in the classroom. Our experience utilizing a therapist, psychiatrist, and school resources will be useful when we adopt from the foster care system. Basically, all of our experience with kids comes from raising our son from 2 years old until now. He is 8 years old. Starting the parenting experience with a 2-year old has made us more adaptable. Being a parent has also made us aware that we should always be learning to be better parents. We view a problem from our sons point-of-view which makes it easier to understand and tackle the problem as a family. We want to guide our children so they will make good decisions on their own. Although we tell our son what to do, we also encourage him to make decisions so that he continues to develop that ability. We try to find a balance between being the authority figures and being patient so he has time to think and make the right decision. As parents we decide what is really is important to stand firm on and what is open for negotiation/compromise. A good sense of humor and negotiating skills help a lot! It also helps to know when something didn't work and plan not to repeat that again.

Support

Our extended family lives ~1.5 hours away. We see them every 1-2 months. If we need help, we can call them. We are close friends with our neighbors as our kids play together almost daily. Our son has ADHD so we already visit a counselor and psychiatrist for check-ups. We also work with school staff to ensure that he has a positive school experience. If needed, we would make sure any child that joins our family would have supportive therapies for issues that are present.

Motivation to Adopt

We enjoy parenting our son and want to add to our family through an adoption of a 3-7 years old boy or 2-child sibling group. A child of this age will need time to adapt to our family but we will be patient. Every child is different and it will be important for us to learn how to connect with our new child. We will need to learn the likes, dislikes, what is scary, what we can do to help him at home, with friends, in school, in life. Our son is 8 years old and we prefer that our kids be fairly close in age. Both Tom and I come from families in which our siblings are close in age and we enjoyed that growing up. We enjoy parenting a boy and that is why we are seeking a second son or sibling group with one boy to join our family.