Adoption Assistance

Disclaimer: This information is not intended to substitute as, or for, legal advice

Picking the Right Agency

Services Provided by Agencies

There are a lot of variables among the services provided by adoption agencies. One common first step is an orientation meeting or training session for prospective adoptive parents. At the meeting or training you will likely:

  • Learn about policies and practices regarding adoption
  • Learn what types of children are available for adoption
  • Learn about foster care
  • Be asked to examine your feelings about adoption and judge if adoption is right for you
  • Gain insight into the challenges and rewards of adoptive parenting
  • Obtain application materials

Questions to Ask an Agency Before a Home Study

Before you sign up with an agency, you may want to ask some questions like the following, which have been excerpted from AdoptUsKids.org

About the Agency

  • Is the agency licensed by the state to make special needs adoptions?
  • How many special needs adoptions has the agency made in the past 5 years?
  • Have any of the agency's adoptions fallen through or disrupted in the past five years?
  • If yes, for what reason?
  • What steps does the agency take to make sure that adoptions proceed as planned and do not disrupt after placement?
  • Can the agency provide references from parents who recently adopted through them?

About Adoptive Children and Parents:

  • What is the general profile of children the agency places (age range, background, ethnicity, etc)?
  • Who is eligible to adopt from the agency? Some agencies will consider only married couples, people within a certain age range, or people with certain religious affiliations or racial backgrounds.

About Their Procedure:

  • What is the average time lapse between application and placement?
  • What are the agency’s requirements for documents, classes, fees, interviews, travel, etc.?
  • What is the agency’s policy toward applicants who do not accept the first child offered to them? Find out if you can turn down a child who is available for adoption. Ask whether you will still be considered for another child.
  • Does the agency sponsor any support groups for parents.

About the Homestudy:

  • What are the agency’s specific requirements and guidelines for a homestudy?
  • Can the agency’s homestudy be used to adopt a child from another state?
  • Does the agency provide a written homestudy?

About Training:

  • Does the agency provide pre-adoptive training?
  • What are the hours and frequency of training?
  • Will both parents (if applicable) be required to participate in the training?

About the Costs:

  • What are the costs for an adoption, and what does each part of the process cost? What are the application fees, homestudy fees, fees for classes, anticipated travel costs, and any other potential expenses? Does the agency have fee schedules and payment plans?
  • Can the agency help applicants locate and access sources of financial aid including subsidies?

About Finding an Adoptive Child:

  • Does the agency provide assistance in finding a child?
  • Will the agency follow-up on children you have found on internet photo listings?
  • What methods does the agency use to search for and identify available children?

About Interstate Adoptions:

  • Is the agency willing to make interstate placements? If so, how many interstate placements have they made in the past 5 years?
  • What are the homestudy requirements/fees for out-of-state children?
  • Is the agency willing to release your homestudy to an agency in another state?
  • Has the agency ever received "Purchase of Service" payments from another state agency?

About post-placement services:

  • What services will the agency provide before and after a child is placed? Will the agency require or provide?
  • counseling or classes for you or your child?
  • Does the agency provide support group activities or respite care?

Let the agency know you are serious about adopting. When you call an agency and indicate your interest in special needs adoption, the person you talk to may ask a series of screening questions or simply volunteer to send literature about the agency. If you want to adopt relatively soon, find out how you can get the process started.

Newsletters

Success Stories

The Kemper Family

 

Our adoption story began when our 3 bio children were young. Hank and I always knew we wanted to adopt “someday” and started taking the DHS foundations classes even before we were to a place in our lives where we could actually proceed with an adoption. We found the classes informative and a good resource for learning about children from “hard places” as well as connecting with other foster/adopt families.

In 2004, the time was finally right to move forward with our plan to adopt when an infant relative was born in California and placed straight into foster care. We got to experience 6 months of grueling ICPC protocol before we were finally able to pick her up and bring her home to Oregon. During the time we waited for her and for a couple years after she joined our family, we were foster parents to several children. Unbeknownst to us, each of these experiences was helping prepare us for an even bigger adoption adventure.

Fast forward about 4 years to when I met a couple with several children and began a friendship with them. We didn’t live very close together so contact was infrequent, but I was enjoying getting to know them until one night when the oldest child called to tell me they’d been taken into state custody and his parents arrested. When the dust settled, the parents ended up in prison and their large family of children was split into several different homes. At that point, it became clear to Hank and I that we would pursue the adoption of a large sibling group in order to prevent them from being split up. As disappointing as it was, we were too late to be a resource for my friend’s children since we’d stopped fostering the year before and were unable to recertify quickly enough to be considered.

In 2012, with 2 of our children married and the 3rd in college and looking at marriage, our youngest, age 8 then, realized that the nest was getting pretty empty so we started talking about adoption again. We discovered AFFEC through the Heart Gallery displays and website so we talked to the DHS adoption agent who’d helped us with our first adoption about using them to recertify us. She encouraged us to contact AFFEC, saying they’d probably be faster than the state because at the time she was the only adoption certifier for 2 counties and was having to help certify foster homes because of a sudden influx of children.

We took her advice and contacted AFFEC. They were offering partial scholarships to families interested in adopting sibling groups of 3 or more so the time seemed right. Before we could finish our homestudy, my mom had a stroke and we were delayed another 6 months. When she was sufficiently recovered to move home, we completed our homestudy and by the first week of Oct. 2013 we were officially certified to start looking for kids.

We had specific goals in mind when we started looking and submitted on the ones that looked like they might be a good fit. We tried to keep our options open by considering special needs each group might have and not being too selective. We actually went to committee on 2 different groups (and were runners-up on a 3rd) but each time the committee decision was split with the final decision sending the children to other families. Although it was disappointing, we took satisfaction in knowing that because we’d submitted on them and gone to committee, we’d played a part in helping them find forever families. Another couple groups we found out had greater needs than we could manage or were smaller than we were wanting so we declined going to committee on them.

Each night I’d spend an hour or so perusing websites of waiting children and bookmarking favorites. I tried to keep my submissions between 5 and 10 and as groups would get placed I’d submit on others. In late Nov. I was doing my nightly research actually looking for a group I’d bookmarked and not finding them when I found another couple groups of 5. I submitted on both after getting the thumbs up from my hubby and our daughter and heard just before Christmas that we would be included in the selection committee being held for one of the groups in Jan. 2014. We continued to submit on a couple other groups while we waited knowing that it was still “anybody’s ball game”. We were confident in our qualifications and knew we’d find the right match. While we waited I researched the health and behavior issues the children had been diagnosed with and options for treatment and management.

February 4, 2014 I got a call from our caseworker saying, “Congratulations! It’s 2 boys and 3 girls!” We were contacted by the adoption worker from the children’s state within a few days and plans were made to go meet them over Valentine’s weekend. We sent email albums of our family to the caseworker so she could present them to the children who’d been living in separate foster homes about a year and ½ and tell them the news that their new family had been found. When the worker told the oldest 2 girls who had been in foster care 3 years, they cautiously inquired if the adoption would include all 5 of them. When told that we wanted all 5 of them, arms shot up in the air and shouts of, "Yes! This is what we’ve been waiting for!” mingled with tears.

The children, who ranged in age from almost 2 to almost 10, were very ready to meet us and seemed to take to us very quickly. Our daughter still at home had helped me make “promise” blankets for them while we were waiting and as I wrapped blankets around the 2 oldest I told them that those blankets would remind them of our promise to return for them as soon as the ICPC was finished. Those blankets are still some of their most treasured possessions. We returned home after a whirlwind trip and got busy setting up bedrooms and moving things out and around to make room for our new family in our 1400 sq ft house. On April 2nd we drove across the country to pick our kids up. The road trip was quick for the amount of miles and states we needed to cover but it went a long way toward starting that bonding process for all of us.

Beth 10, Jo-Ellen 9, Jeremy 6, Trinity 3, and Henry 2 have now been part of our family for almost 7 months and it feels like they’ve always been there. Many of the “problems” the children were exhibiting in foster care disappeared and/or lessened once they realized they were all safely settled in their forever family and that they could trust Mom and Dad to take care of them and be fair with them. I told them when they first arrived that we don’t choose favorites. A couple weeks ago I asked them if they believed that statement was true. They were quiet a minute thinking about it and then Jo-Ellen said, “No, you do have a favorite!” I cringed wondering what they’d noticed that I’d unintentionally done to give them that idea, perhaps something with our first adoptee? I got brave enough to ask who they thought was my favorite and the 4 oldest all said simultaneously, “It’s ME!” Then looked with astonishment at each other, for they all truly believed it. I guess it is ok to have favorites!

A couple of the most touching comments include one of the girls telling me that she didn’t feel adopted, she feels like family. The other was when I overheard our new adoptees talking to our original adoptee and they were eagerly discussing their futures, all of which include adopting, “Like Mom and Dad,” they said. They want to know when we can adopt again!

We chose adoption in part, not because our family was incomplete but because theirs was and we could change that.

The Shipley Family

 

We are the Shipley family. We are a happy family who love to spend time together. We have not always been as big a family as we are now. When my husband and I started planning our family we thought we would have two biological children and then adopt two children. After having two beautiful daughters we decided we would like to adopt two little boys to round out the family.

We started the process to adopt through DHS. We took weeks worth of classes and filled out stacks of paper. When we finally had a home study completed and we were ready to start looking at bulletins, we were told we would most likely not get a younger boy unless we did foster care. We were scared to do foster care and have our hearts broken in the process so we prayed about what to do next. We felt like maybe looking into adopting an older child was where we were being led. We talked to our adoption worker and she said that adopting an older child could cause all sorts of problems for our little family, she also stated again that the best children get picked out through foster care and that we should switch our home study over to a foster file. We did switch over to being foster parents and then waited and waited to get a phone call.

As the weeks drew on we still felt very drawn to the idea of adopting an older child. At that time I had a friend who was doing long term foster care for a 12 year old girl. She had been connected with this placement through the heart gallery. My friend gave me Christy's phone number and said "Just give her a call, she is great!" so I did. After I explained my situation to Christy, she said there were many great older children waiting to be part of a forever home. She asked if I had seen the profile for Shirell. My husband and I looked over Shirell's bio and felt an instant connection. We switched our file back over to adoption and asked our adoption worker to summit our home study.

It took a long time for our adoption worker to submit the home study. She was concerned that we didn't have enough information and that we might be making a big mistake. We had done a lot of praying and we were sure this was the right move for our family, even when we at times doubted, we were continually guided back to Shirell. Then we got a phone call. Shirell's case worker had to move Shirell as her current foster placement wanted her moved.

We were asked if we wanted to take Shirell in as a foster child with the intention to adopt. We said "yes!" and changed our file back over to foster care. Shirell moved in two days later and was officially adopted a little less than a year after that date. We have had another family member join the group within this last year and are thinking we still need to go back and adopt a couple of boys at some point. We have worked hard to become the family we are and feel joyful for all the happy memories we have created thus far. We have had lots of emotional ups and downs over this journey of adoption but we wouldn't change a thing. We are so blessed to have Shirell as our daughter and so thankful to the Heart gallery for all their support along the way.

Al & Jan

 

Our adoption story began about two years ago. I am a retired child psychotherapist and my husband is a retired Nationally Certified Substance Abuse Counselor. In our respective former marriages, we raised a total of 8 daughters to adulthood. We thought we might be considered "too old" to adopt, but we were encouraged to apply. After interviews, home-studies, fingerprints, FBI clearances, phone calls, questions, and tons of paperwork, we were approved and began our search. Using Adoptuskids, various state sites, and A Family For Every Child, we had expressed interest in children from all over the country. There always seemed to be a catch that made a match seem less and less likely as time wore on. We knew as an older couple we didn't have what it takes to follow an energetic toddler around or stay up nights with an infant. We would finally find an older child whose limited bio seemed a good match for our family, only to face the

Although we were ready to accept there might not be a child that would match our family, Christy convinced us to hang in there. We are so glad we did. We found our daughter in October 2009 and the adoption was finalized last month. She is a funny, lovable gem. She adds sparkle and purpose to our lives that no other type of retirement could. We would rather pay for her orthodontic braces, listen to her whine about her homework, and give her the love and stability she never had, but always deserved. Trust, love, and respect takes time, but is very, very worth it. We had a wonderful party to celebrate "It's a Girl" and "It's a Mom and a Dad" . Our daughter had made D ' s and F ' s on her report cards prior to moving into our home and into our hearts. We are proud to report she made all A's and B's this grading period.

"Thank you for your encouragement Christy! Perhaps our precious daughter expressed our feelings best when in court for finalization, as the judge pronounced us officially and legally a family, she shouted BOOO YAH!!!"
Al & Jan

Hancock Family

 

One morning, in November of 2006, we opened the Register Guard and noticed a picture of a little boy under the heading of Child of the Month for the Heart Gallery of Lane County. A cute little boy named "Austin" who was looking for a Forever Family. Thus began our journey down the road to adoption. We already had 4 kids of our own from the ages of 9 to19, but only two were still living at home and, after a family discussion with our two boys, we decided to try and adopt a little boy in the 8 year old range.

January of 2007, we began the process. We came to find out we had to take 8 parenting classes, get a background check, and then have a home study done. What we didn't know was that it would take nearly five months to get all of those things accomplished. Unfortunately, while we were going through this process, Austin, the boy we saw in the register guard, had already had his committee set and we weren't able to be considered.

Austin had his forever family so we started reviewing bulletins looking for another little boy who we could open our home to. Our DHS worker sent new bulletins whenever they came out and she thought they might fit into our home. We found another little boy who we were ready to open our home to that we were selected again for committee if it came to that. Unfortunately for us but great for him, his grandparents found him in the Heart Gallery and were able to be his adoptive resource. A few months later, we again found a child we thought would fit well into our home. Our home study was sent and we were selected for committee, but, for whatever reason, we weren't selected. This was the point when we really had to ask ourselves if riding this roller coaster of emotion was worth staying on. After talking with Christy Obie-Barrett over and over again and constantly talking with our worker, we decided it was definitely worth it.

On March 11, 2008 we were selected at committee for Michael. Later that afternoon, we were notified we had been selected, but the joy was short lived because we were also told the decision of the committee was going to be reviewed. We then spent the next two months waiting for DHS to decide if we were going to be Michael's adoptive resource. During this time, we asked ourselves many times if this was worth it and there were many occasions we were going to tell DHS to withdraw our name and give up. We didn't give up and Michael has been with us for thirty days now and we're happy he's joined our family. Everyone is adjusting to having a 6 year old in the house again. The boys are behaving like brothers, playing together one minute and arguing the next, so hopefully that's a good sign. It's been 19 months since this journey began and now that Michaels in our home we're glad we didn't give up because he deserved to have a forever family and he needed someone to not give up on him. We are very happy to have Michael as our son and hope that someday he comes to love us as we do him. This is really just the beginning of our journey and now the hard part begins.

Dee & Austin

 

Dee met Austin through the Heart Gallery Mentor Program at the end of June 2008. She was interested in giving back to the community through helping the youth in Eugene as she had similar help through a family when she was a teenager and having difficulties. She was matched up with a young man named Austin who was 11 years old and living at the Safe Center in Springfield.

They started going out a couple times a week doing things such as hikes, taking in several Em's games, parades, or just going out for a movie and popcorn.

At this time, they were looking for options for Austin. Dee who is 54 and had no children started thinking about taking Austin in and what that would entail. She went from "Can I do this?" to "Why not try to do this?" They started with overnights and moved to 3 night weekends by Sept.

On Sept 26th, Austin moved in with Dee and all is going well. Austin is a joy to be around: bright, enthusiastic about life, and has a great sense of humor. It was a great match!!

We truly give thanks to Christy and the Heart Gallery Program!!!

Frank, Tracey & Kyara

 

We had discussed the possibility of adopting a child since 2003 but never filled out the paperwork. In December of 2006, we decided that we were finished discussing the topic & actually signed up for the classes that started shortly thereafter. We had no children but had hopes of adopting a little girl & in August, 2008 our dreams came true – in the form of our daughter, Kyara.

We had learned of Kyara through the Heart Gallery & have been ever so thankful for the continuing support. When we met Kyara & got to know her, we could almost hear the clicking of the last piece of a puzzle as she was the perfect fit to make our family complete. The three of us all have a similar sense of humor & laugh a lot, we love animals, & spending quality “family-time” together. We’ve also found that Kyara shares our love for travel!! We were fortunate enough to introduce Kyara to her large east coast family & enjoyed the excitement of New York City during the trip!!

We are genuinely grateful to the foster family who assisted us with such a smooth transition & who took wonderful care of Kyara. We were truly blessed to be chosen for Kyara & love & respect her more each & every day. It’s a wonderful life!!

"I’m happy for my new family, and I love them very much. My family is my mom, Tracey, my dad, Frank, and my kittens – Nicole, Tessa and Kaylee.

My dad is nice, handsome, he’s willing to do stuff with me, He treats me with respect and cares about me.

We go get coffee in the morning, because mom is a vegetarian we go eat meat together, and we have fun!!

My mom is sweet, kind, pretty, awesome, excited, and adventurous, She cooks a lot and makes me healthy food that is delicious.

I have a grandma on the east coast and a grandma and grandpa here in Eugene, and a lot of aunts, uncles, and cousins.

My aunts, uncles, and cousins are very nice and they accept me for who I am. My family has shown me many things and takes me fun places, like the coast, The Gilbert House, on a paddle boat ride, skating, The Science Factory, and we just got back from New York a few days ago where I saw the Little Mermaid on Broadway!! These people make me happy and joyful and I am thankful to be blessed with my amazing family."

Kyara-Lyn

Jessica & Family

Kevin and I had adoption placed on our hearts in August of 2006 and we indicated our interest in Jessica in September of 2007 after the needed classes, paperwork, and home study were completed. When the phone call came from her social worker in March 2008 - we were frankly a bit stunned.

Then we received her file and became a bit overwhelmed at all of the names, titles, and conditions that were associated with this girl. We had our doubts and concerns about our abilities and if this was a good match for us.

The Heart Gallery video is what changed all of that: we were able to see the real girl. She was talking, laughing, playing, and just being silly. The power of seeing her after so much time spent reading about her was amazing. Doubts were cast aside, titles became meaningless, and the scary was not as scary as before. We were now looking at a real girl and seeing her touched our hearts!

Jessica has been home with us for 4 months and is now starting to enjoy just being a kid. Kevin and I are happy, tired, and thankful for the work that the Heart Gallery does. We would have missed out on our girl without them.

The Kurtz Family

 

Helley Kurtz shares a Heart Gallery success story: three children on their way to a new home in Tennessee.

Cory and I knew we wanted to be parents even before we got married. We bought our house because of how kid-friendly it was, we chose our SUV for the same reason, and our conversations were often filled with comments like 'when we have kids' and 'when we're parents' . Our family and friends passed down toys and baby furniture, and I bought things on sale to put back for when our baby came. We were very proud of ourselves for being so prepared. We had everything we needed - except the baby. So we waited, and waited, and then waited a few more years.

By this point, we decided we should try something new if we ever wanted to be woken up early on Christmas morning by a whispered 'Did Santa come yet?' We looked into domestic and international adoption, but couldn't ever make a decision we agreed on. Then one day, I stumbled upon an article about waiting child adoption. After a lot of discussion and even more prayer, we felt this was our chance. Within a few months, we completed our home study and were ready to find our children. We decided that we wanted to adopt a sibling group, to have an instant family. I found the Lane County Heart Gallery by chance, and contacted them about a couple of children we were interested in. While I was talking to Christy Obie-Barrett, she recommended that I look at a group I had not noticed before. When I showed the video of the three children to Cory, he told me to get busy applying for them! We sent our home study to their social worker, and she sent us more information on them. We were excited when we found out that we were one of the top families being considered, and ecstatic to find out that we were chosen to be their parents!

Within a month, we were flying to Oregon to meet our children and bring them home. Every day, we look at our beautiful children and are amazed at our good fortune of becoming a forever family. Each one has a unique personality and we are enjoying getting to know them as individuals. Even though it's only been a month, we can't imagine our lives without them. Christmas will be great this year - our dreams have come true!

Traci & Richard

Traci and Richard began their fostering commitment after they adopted their daughter, Hannah, who is now 5 ½ years old. Hannah came into their lives when she was 18 months old. They totally understand the needs of children who are separated from siblings. Hannah has two biological siblings who are being raised by their maternal grandparents. They wanted their daughter to have the familial relationship with birth relatives so they created a situation that they describe as, "now we are all family."

Hannah knows her birth siblings and spends time with them. The two families share holidays and a variety of family activities to keep these critical relationships alive and meaningful. "Our daughter should not have to lose the significant people in her life," said Tracy.

The importance to then foster children came on the heels of their adoption. Tracy and Richard thought, "If we can make a difference for one child, perhaps we can make a difference for other children in the system." They became certified to do fostercare and have fostered children between the ages of 6 months and 7 years of age. The also provide respite care, which is a short break for other foster parents, for foster children of all ages.

Respite care is a wonderful way to help if your time limitations only allow you a few hours a week or a weekend of time to devote to children.

As we discussed their foster care journey, Tracy cried recalling some of the sweet moments of their first placement. They helped transition a baby boy to his adoptive placement when he was 11 months old. They fostered him from the time he was 5 months old. The parting was difficult without a doubt. There is no way to love these kids fully and completely without the sense of loss when they leave," Tracy recalls. She also recognizes how they played a part in completing his life. The family that adopted this little guy also adopted his twin siblings and then, a year later, the fourth child born to their biological mother. He and his siblings are united in the same adoptive home! They continue to have contact with the adoptive family and play an important part in this child's life.

"It is a gift to us when we see a child who is afraid of everything begin to understand that they are safe in our home," Tracy said. "They are afraid to take a bath, they are afraid to change their clothes, they are anxious and uncertain. In a short time, you watch them blossom. They become more comfortable and confident. Most importantly, they get to be kids again! There are adults who do what adults need to do to meet their needs and give them some of the childhood they lost," the family reflected. When a child gets to be a child and is not responsible for the well being of their parents or younger siblings, they will then have the opportunity to develop the skills they did not develop earlier in their lives. We want to give children that chance!

They have two sons, Brent, age 14, and Kyle, age 11. Bringing children into their home has been an opportunity to grow and stretch emotionally. Kyle's take on this decision to create a home for foster children is, "It hurts my heart when they have to go." Tracy noted that both boys have been completely involved. They change diapers, entertain the kids, share a sandwich! The family is just committed to giving children a place to experience unconditional love!

Sharon & Dan

"All these kids were meant for our family. They are perfect for us," Sharon stated. "It is hard to think about the fact that their biological parents have missed the joy they have brought to our lives," she continued. Sharon and Dan have adopted four special needs children. Nick, age 25, is their first adoptive son. He was three days old when they brought him home from Mexico. He works in the food service industry. Nine months and one day later, they had their only biological child Brianna, who is 24. Dakota, now 11, is the second adopted son and their first foster child. He is diagnosed with high functioning autism. What Sharon and Dan describe is a boy who is "magnetic, endearing, warm and wonderful!" They stressed the value of looking at the heart of a child, as opposed to a diagnostic label. At age 10, David, their third son has transcended every description in his adoptive profile. The profile stated that due to global disabilities, David would never function beyond the capacity of a nine month old baby and would never be able to feed orally. Sharon read about David in an adoptive resource monthly newsletter, Family Matters. The only thing she knew was, "I could be David's mother." She mentioned this desire to her husband Dan and his only remark was, "Let's see if he is still available." Sharon proudly shares that David can walk up to an hour a day with assistance; he eats 3 meals a day and has an adaptive bike that he is currently making strides on." With David's adoption they were done. Of course, another monthly issue of Family Matters came in the mail! Sharon saw Corwin. Again the nine months of pondering before she talked to Dan. The couple decided to adopt Corwin, age 2, who has Down Syndrome, ADHD, and prenatal drug exposure. In her heart, Sharon knew their family was now complete.

Sharon and Dan created a family of children who have full and wonderful lives. Their daughter Brianna has kept the adoption legacy alive. She recently adopted 2 year old Javon and now Sharon and Dan are grandparents!

Tammy & Joe

Tammy and Joe have been foster parents for DHS-Child Welfare for 2 ½ years and have fostered 17 children in that period. Prior to that, they fostered children in the state of California for almost the same amount of time.

Currently, the household includes 4 biological daughters and 6 foster children, boys ranging from 9 years to 3 months old. A family of 12 is rare, but Tammy claims they go many places together and often draw compliments for how well behaved the children are. The question "why" would be a natural one, when you think about the extra time, energy, effort, and expense. Tammy put it this way. They always have had a heart for children and often were instrumental in youth ministry in their church. In that setting, she saw so much need. She further stated, "I just wanted to be part of their healing. Turning anger into love and turning fear into trust." Joe's eyes shined when he talked about how wonderful it is to just hold their 3 month old foster son, who definitely has a real attachment to his foster Dad.

They manage a household that is calm, safe, and happy. They strive to give the foster children in their care an environment to be kids again without the anxiety and chaos that accompanies unsafe homes. Their 9 year old foster son reported how much he liked having clean sheets and clean clothes. With time, he told Tammy and Joe about a favorite lesson he learned since living with them. He commented, "My favorite thing I learned in your house is how to be respectful. When I am respectful, other people are respectful of me." There are life long lessons that create a new value system for children who did not have the opportunity to learn these life changing messages. A 13 year old girl who no longer lives with the family, still calls twice a month from Alaska where she is currently living with her biological siblings. This child referred to Tammy as "My angel who gave me another chance! "

The four girls are more empathic towards the hardships that people endure. "They will never not know how hard circumstances can be in the world nor will they be able to ignore them," said Joe and Tammy.

In the meantime, with 6 foster boys at home, Joe and Tammy and their 4 girls have changed children's experiences, providing structure, safety, respect, and love until permanent decisions are made about the future of these children. The bottom line, "We want to be good examples of what they can be." Joe and Tammy were selected as Foster Parents of the Year in 2006 for their extraordinary service to foster children.

Jessica & Dan

Imagine for a minute a home in Eugene with children ages 7, 6, 5, 4, 1, and 6 months! Jessica, 24, and Dan, 25, have been married for two years; they have a biological son who is the 6 month old. The five other children are foster children but, to them, there is no difference in the love and care for either the foster children or their biological son. Their dream is to start a home for children, until then they will do family foster care. Their motivation to care for children in state custody is based on their faith in action. It is a calling to "bless other children, who have experienced a difficult time in their short lives," says Jessica. In the year and a half that they have been certified by the state to do foster care, the family has fostered 14 children. 9 of those children are no longer in their care and 5 remain.

There is a special wonderment that these children bring to ordinary situations. "Having a hot dog at a high school football game is a new experience. Going to the family farm and seeing a tractor or sheep is a special experience." They recognize that what other children take for granted is a new and spectacular experience for these children. "It is truly heartwarming to see their excitement and joy over the simplest things in life," they claim. The transformation that occurs is the reward for these foster parents. First, you see the physical changes manifested in healthier and well nourished bodies. Then, in 30 days or so, you begin to see the beginning of trust and attachment. The initial testing is often a huge challenge! These kids are asking if you will be there no matter what - the test of your commitment to them. "If you hang in there, that is when they begin to open up emotionally and you see the true vulnerable nature that was hidden away," says Jessica.

Understanding that children who have been hurt and traumatized need time to feel the full range of their emotions is a necessary part of healing. In a foster home, such as the one Jessica and Dan provide, this need is honored and respected. The moments of snuggling and feeling loved, the times when someone gets a new hair cut and learns the word "stud muffin" are the building blocks for a secure sense of self. They have taken on the challenge and only laugh when they are looked upon as extraordinary. In their minds, they are simply living their faith through their ministry with children.

Bob & Sons

I began foster parenting in 1987 and haven't stopped since. My early years were struggles with many challenges in my family and my young adulthood. Wonderful people reached out to me during those times and I promised myself that I would someday grow to be a man who helped kids who needed a special someone. I came to Oregon in 1985 to begin a new life that would take me in the directions that I dreamed about in my youth. I attended college where I dabbled in every major that was conceivable. Writing was my passion so I wrote about the kids who suffering seemed to remain hidden from most people's consciousness. I frequently complained that "someone needed to do something to help those kids." My mentor Clint, a seventy something senior citizen with great wisdom, told me to "go home and look in the mirror. Someone will be there....get him to do something to help those kids!"

He encouraged me to be a foster parent....I was afraid. I wondered if I could really make that kind of difference in a child's life. Before I knew it, my family size went from one person who couldn't decide what to do if he ever grew up to a family of four with three teenagers looking to me for safety, nurturing, and hope for a better life. I suddenly realized that I had more wisdom than I could have hoped for.......that I had found a meaningful way to live my life with passion and joy.

I'm far from perfect. I've perfected my apologies and I've learned how to accept that I don't know everything.

At the end of the day when my eight boys are in bed, I walk through the house quietly and look in on my boys. I thank the universe for allowing me the privilege to keep them safe and to help them discover the strength and the courage and the joys that live inside them. They are the people who helped me to discover them within myself.

Post Adoption Resources

Disclaimer:This information is not intended to substitute as, or for, legal advice.

Adoption Assistance/Subsidy

College Scholarships

  • Educational and Training Voucher (ETV) The Educational and Training Voucher (ETV) is an annual federal grant provided to states for youth who were adopted after the age of 16 or aged out of foster care. Hover of the ETV tab and select your state to learn more.
  • Educational and Training Voucher FAQs Commonly asked questions about the ETV program.
  • FAFSA For children who were adopted from foster care at age 13 or older, they may consider them as an “independent student” on the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) form. This means they do not have to count family income, and therefore are more likely to receive financial aid. Adoption subsidies do not count as income on FAFSA form.
  • Federal Pell Grant Applicants must fill out FAFSA form and meet certain requirements to qualify for a Pell Grant. Pell Grant is not a loan, and therefore does not need to be re-paid.
  • NACAC College Tuition Fact Sheet Guide to federal and state college tuition programs for children who were adopted from foster care.
  • Tuition Assistance and Scholarships for Youth A list of potential scholarship resources for foster or adopted childrenfrom the NYSCCC.
  • Point Foundation The Point Foundation empowers promising LGBTQ students to achieve their full academic and leadership potential. This Foundation offers website links and information for organizations that assist with the costs associated with being a student. This includes tuition help, scholarships – general and LGBTQ specific, living stipends, textbook costs, childcare benefits, work grants, and more.

Employee Benefit Programs

  • Adopt Link Outlines the advantages to employee adoption benefits, includes a list of companies who currently offer adoption benefits, and provides a list of other adoption assistance programs.
  • Adoption-Friendly Workplace Dave Thomas Foundation compiled a list of adoption-friendly workplaces.
  • How to Lobby Your Employer for Adoption Workplace Benefits An article from Adoptive Families magazine on asking your employer for adoption benefits. Must subscribe to Adoptive Families magazine to read the article.

Federal Adoption Tax Credit

Pre-Finalization Phase

Post-Adoption Phase

Disclaimer:The views and opinions in the blogs listed below are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of A Family For Every Child.

Post-Adoption Training and Support

  • AFFEC Book List A list of suggested reading for adoptive parents and children.
  • American Academy of Pediatrics Provides information for parents on general pediatric issues. Information geared towards children ages 0-21.
  • Facsheets for Families Child Welfare Information Gateway’s Factsheets for Families convers topics pertaining to foster care, adoption and parenting.
  • Helping Adopted Children Cope with Grief and Loss A guidebook from Child Welfare Information Gateway on helping your adopted child cope with the losses he/she has faced.
  • Helping Foster and Adoptive Families Cope with Trauma A guidebook from the American Academy of Pediatrics, helping foster and adoptive parents navigate their child’s PTSD. Information includes the causes and effects of trauma, and effective parenting methods to help children heal.
  • How an Adoptive Mom Becomes a “Nurturing Enemy” The Institute for Attachment outlines how the “primal wound” effects a mother-child relationship, and provides suggestions for resources.
  • Impact of Adoption on Adoptive Parents Child Welfare Information Gateway provides a guide to identifying and coping with the emotions, and the ups and downs in the adoption process.
  • Mental Health Services Provided by State Child Welfare Information Gateway compiled a list of mental health services provided by each state and the District of Columbia. Includes links to additional information and resources.
  • National Child Traumatic Stress Network NCTSN provides resources for caregivers, educators and adoption professionals on trauma and trauma-related issues.
  • Parenting After Adoption Resources Child Welfare Information Gateway compiled a resource list containing information on post-adoption related issues. Topics include adoption and school, disruption/dissolution issues, finding services, talking about adoption, creating a life book, and more.
  • Post-Adoption Resources By State Child Welfare Information Gateway compiled a list of post-adoption resources available in each state, and who to contact for more information.
  • Post-Adoption Training List Child Welfare Information Gateway compiled a list of online and state post-adoption training opportunities for adoptive families. Please note that this is not a complete list, nor is A Family For Every Child endorsing any of the trainings listed.
  • Privacy and Safety on Facebook NNEDV wrote a guide to keeping your child safe online.
  • Respite Care Providers Locate a licensed respite care provider near you using ARCH’s national respite care locator map.
  • Tips for Finding Help NCTSN provides recommendations for finding professional help in trauma-related issues.

Suicide Awareness

Recruitment

Our Recruitment Mission

Recruitment efforts at A Family For Every Child give children in foster care additional exposure to families nationwide in hopes of finding children their forever families. There are over 500,000 children in foster care nationwide, many of which will never find a home due to their “hard to place” status- i.e. children who are older, who are minorities, who have developmental disabilities, behavioral disabilities, or past traumatic stressors. A Family For Every Child believes that children should have a family that will encourage them to grow and mature appropriately and provide them with a home environment where they can act like a kid and just be loved.

Adoption Recruitment

″Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.″ — Garrison Keillar

What do we Do?

A Family For Every Child’s Recruitment Team utilizes easy and accessible technology to help find children loving homes. We specialize in the hardest and most urgent placements, and will successfully match children with their forever families. A Family For Every Child is dedicated to finding permanent, loving families for all waiting children in foster care. We have a variety of recruitment services that allow foster children to have additional exposure to adoptive families throughout their adoptive journey.

Child Listings

Listing: Listing a child in our database exposes the child to families who are also registered in our database. Potential adoptive families who are registered can submit home studies for children on our private site, and can also read a short bio and view a picture of the child.

Child Listings and Matching Program

Families who register for our Matching Assistance Program have access to all children who are listed in our database. Matching Assistance is a password protected membership program that supports qualified, current approved home studied families looking for available waiting foster children. Matching Assistance Program families are home studied approved families, many of which have undergone special training, classes, certifications and more.

This is another resource that A Family For Every Child provides in our extensive recruitment program. The Matching Assistance Program not only helps families find children, but also greatly helps children who are registered in our private database. It allows hundreds of families to search through our database in hopes of finding the perfect child for them.


All families in the Matching Assistance Program are qualified to adopt children from foster care, and are interested in adopting children with special needs, older children, or sibling groups. In addition to giving children on your caseload extra exposure, you (as a social worker) can also view family profiles on our MAP page.

Public Listings

If a child is listed publicly with our agency, they are on our public website. This allows them to have additional exposure to families, recruiters and adoption workers who are not registered in our database. Listing a child on our public site gives the child all the exposure that listing them privately would, and then some. In addition to our MAP families and families who are registered in our database, public child listings allow families to inquire on children more easily and more frequently.

On average, there are over 500 home studies submitted every month via A Family For Every Child’s public site. Furthermore, 59,795,518 people visited our website in the past 10 months.

Targeted E-Mails

A Family For Every Child’s Targeted E-mails are e-mails that go out to families nationwide that match the specified child’s needs. They include the child’s name, state, age, biography and picture. If a video is provided, we can link it to the email, so the families can watch it! These are themed to a certain interest of the child, hoping that the true personality of the child will shine through. We run a report through our database and select families that specifically fit with the child’s special needs and wants. We believe that children should be matched with families based on their needs and the family’s qualifications. We do not believe a family should receive a child (especially a child with special needs) just because they want to adopt. Targeted e-mails successfully match children with families who can help them grow into their full potential. Emails are normally scheduled for the day after the email is created. If there is a certain date or time, we are more that willing to work with you!

Online Matching Events

Our Online Child Matching Events and Online Family Matching Events utilize user-friendly and accessible technology to better match children with their forever families. Social workers present children from their caseload to an audience of adoptive families via an online webinar program.

Does This Help with Adoption?

A Family For Every Child’s Online Child Matching Events are becoming increasingly popular, and are especially helpful for children in foster care that have a harder time finding a forever family.

How Does This Work?

Online Matching Events utilize easy, simple and accessible technology to portray foster children in a professional and aesthetically pleasing manner. We use several photos of the child to portray their everyday life, personality and activities. The social worker presents a slide show for every family that has interest in the child.

Why these Events are Very Useful…

Families are much more likely to become interested in a child after they’ve seen pictures and videos that represent the child’s personality, and after they’ve heard about the child’s behaviors directly from one of the people that knows the child the best; their social worker.

Families love these webinars, and feel that this is a great way to “hear about [the children’s] real personalities” and they appreciate being able to “hear directly from the social workers who know the children best” (Source from an August 22nd Online Child Matching Event attendee.)

Foster Care In Oregon

Foster parents play an essential role in providing temporary, safe, and nurturing homes to children when their parents are unable to care for them.

Thank you for all you have done and all you continue to do to help children of Oregon. We must remain ever vigilant to give our children the best care and support possible, while working to bring permanency and stability into their lives.

Why are children placed in foster care? 

Children are placed in foster care either by order of a court (involuntary) or because their parents are willing to have them cared for temporarily outside the home (voluntary).

An involuntary placement occurs when a child has been abused or neglected (or may be at risk of abuse or neglect) by his or her parent or someone else in the household, or because a court has determined that the child is a "person in need of supervision" or a juvenile delinquent. The court orders the child removed from the home and determines the length of the placement.

A voluntary placement occurs when parents decide that they are temporarily unable to care for their child for reasons other than abuse or neglect. For example, the family is experiencing a serious medical, emotional, and/or financial problem. The parents sign a voluntary placement agreement that lists the responsibilities of the parents and the agency during the child's placement. In the case of a voluntary surrender, however, the parents voluntarily and permanently give up all parental rights and transfer "custody and guardianship" to an authorized agency.

What is the role of a foster parent?

As a foster parent, you are responsible for the temporary care and nurturing of a child who has been placed outside his or her own home. During a time of disruption and change, you are giving a child a home. At the same time, your role includes working with the caseworker and the child’s family so that the child can return home safely, when appropriate.

The role of the foster parent is to:

  • Provide temporary care for children, giving them a safe, stable, nurturing environment.
  • Cooperate with the caseworker and the child’s parents in carrying out a permanency plan, including participating in that plan.
  • Understand the need for, and goals of, family visits and help out with those visits.
  • Help the child cope with the separation from his or her home.
  • Provide guidance, discipline, a good example, and as many positive experiences as possible.
  • Encourage and supervise school attendance, participate in teacher conferences, and keep the child’s caseworker informed about any special educational needs.
  • Work with the agency in arranging for the child’s regular and/or special medical and dental care.
  • Work with the child on creating a Life Book – a combination of a story, diary, and scrapbook that can help children understand their past experiences so they can feel better about themselves and be better prepared for the future.
  • Inform the caseworker promptly about any problems or concerns so that needs can be met through available services

What is a "permanency plan"?

As a foster parent, you are a continuing presence in the child's life. You are familiar with the child's personality and emotional and intellectual development since you care for him or her 24 hours a day.

Therefore, you can contribute valuable information about the child as you work closely with the caseworker/agency, participate in meetings about the child, and communicate with the parents. Foster parents are often the main source of information about how a child is adjusting to the separation from home, interacting with other children, and performing in school.

Even more important, you are a primary source of support for the child. When you have a positive, healthy relationship with your foster children, you help build their trust in adults. This helps prepare them for changes in their living situation that might be necessary to achieve their permanency goal. For example, they may return home or they may be adopted. As you continue to nurture the child day after day, you are helping to plan for his or her permanency.

Foster parents can help plan for permanency through parent-child visits, contacts with the caseworker, service plan reviews, court hearings and discharge activities. 

What rights do foster parents have?

Foster parents have the right to:

  • Accept or reject a child for placement in a foster home.
  • Define and limit the number of children that can be placed in the foster home, within legal capacity.
  • Receive information on each child who is to be placed in the foster home.
  • Expect regular visits from the child’s caseworker to exchange information, plan together, and discuss any concerns about the child.
  • Participate in regular conferences in the foster home to discuss the child’s plan every 90 days or less as required (whenever necessary in times of crisis or emergency).
  • Receive notice of, and participate in Service Plan Reviews and Family Court permanency hearings on a child placed in their home.
  • Receive training meeting the needs of children in care.
  • Have their personal privacy respected

Foster Care

Foster care questions - A 22-page booklet addressing questions kids have about foster care.

Make a difference...Foster & Adoptive Parenting (DHS 9510) |  A one page brochure summarizing the need, flexible requirements, financial issues, and contacts for more in-depth information.

Make a difference....Become a Foster or Adoptive Family Inquiry Booklet (DHS 9507) - Twenty-four page booklet based on the most frequently asked questions about foster care and adoption; includes quotes from foster/adoptive parents and foster children/teens.

Icebreakers...The first meeting between birth parents and foster parents - This explains the goal (to exchange information about the child’s needs soon after placement); guidelines; and roles and responsibilities of the foster parent, birth parent and caseworker/facilitator.

Certification Standards for foster care, relative care and pre-adoptive families (March 2007, PDF)

Team Decision Meetings - A one page brochure indicating when these meetings should take place (whenever a decision to move a child is being considered); who should attend; who benefits; meeting format, facilitation and follow up.

Foster Parent Handbook....You make a difference - one child at a time (DHS 7902) - Foster parents determined topics and organization; DHS staff endorsed sharing best practices statewide and ensured that information complies with policy. The initial reference section is meant to be customized with local contact information about staff, foster parent supports and community resources (of which a working template in Word Perfect is available - see below)

The 2009 Data Book

New report shows progress toward child welfare goals

The Oregon Department of Human Services (DHS) announced today the release of 2009 information and statistics about children in Oregon's child welfare system. The 2009 Child Welfare Data Book, designed to provide more timely information about the children who come into Oregon's child protection system due to abuse or neglect, is now posted online.

This is the first time Oregon has released child welfare information in this more streamlined "data book" format. The 2009 Child Welfare Data Book contains the information that was included in the Status of Children report - but presented in a timelier manner. Under the leadership of Erinn Kelley-Siel, director of Children, Adults and Families, DHS began to strategically focus its efforts to safely reduce the number of children in state foster care. The new report shows that those efforts are showing results.

A total of 13,291 children spent at least one day in foster care in 2009, continuing a trend of reductions over the past two years. On any given day last year, about 8,500 Oregon children were in foster care, and that number was nearly 9,800 just two years ago.

Although the number of children in foster care in Oregon declined, the state continues to place more children in foster care than most other states in the nation.

"Children and their families are the greatest resource we have as a state. Our job to protect and support the healing of some of Oregon's most vulnerable children and their families is critically important, and we are committed to continuously strengthening and improving our work," said Kelley-Siel.

"In this economy, the challenges facing children and their families, and the systems that support them, are becoming increasingly difficult and complex. This report demonstrates the child welfare system's efforts to respond to those challenges. Although there is more work to be done, the numbers in this report reflect the stories of thousands of children who are safer as a result of the department's work," said Kelley-Siel.

In 2009, DHS received 67,885 reports of child abuse and neglect - one report every eight minutes. That is an increase over 2008's total number of reports (65,460) and illustrates the importance Oregonians place on reporting suspected cases of child abuse and neglect. Investigations of these reports found that 11,090 children were victims of child abuse or neglect, an increase from last year's number of confirmed cases. Almost half of those victims were younger than age 6, and most - nearly 95 percent - were abused by someone in their family, most often a parent.

More than 1,100 children had adoptions finalized last year, and 78 percent of those children were adopted by relatives or foster parents. In 94 percent of cases, siblings were adopted together, preserving an important family connection for children.

Since 2007, the Oregon Legislature has made critical investments in four key areas of Oregon's child welfare system -- targeted addiction treatment and recovery services for parents, foster care reimbursement for relative caregivers, enhanced legal reviews in child dependency cases and additional child welfare staff.

Building on those investments, Oregon has set goals to safely reduce the number of children in foster care and to ensure that children in the child welfare system are safe, stable and healthy:

  • Increase the number of children who remain safely at home after a founded report of neglect.
  • Eliminate disproportionate treatment for children of color in foster care, especially African American and Native American children.
  • Increase placements and connections with family (relatives) and ensure ongoing connections with parents and siblings.
  • Increase the number of children leaving foster care - either to reunite with parents or to be adopted/have permanent guardianship arrangements.
  • Decrease the length of time children spend in foster care.
  • Strengthen support for out-of-home caregivers.
  • Ensure that children in foster care receive timely, appropriate medical services and mental health assessments.
  • Make Oregon a national leader for the absence of abuse in out-of-home care.
  • Increase the number of foster care homes/placements available.

In working to achieve these goals, Kelley-Siel says urgent challenges remain: "Alcohol and drug use are the largest contributors to child abuse and neglect, followed closely by domestic violence, and our resources to help families and support victims are stretched thin," Kelley-Siel said. "African American and Native American children continue to be disproportionately represented in foster care. Ending that inequity is something we need to address across the state with the help of our local communities and partners."

2009 Child Welfare Data Book fast facts

Child protective services

  • 67,885 reports of abuse and neglect were received, and 28,584 reports were referred for investigation.
  • 7,240 referrals were founded for abuse or neglect-involving 11,090 victims.
  • 48.1 percent of victims were younger than 6 years old.
  • Threat of harm was the largest type of maltreatment incident experienced by victims (49.8 percent of incidents), followed by neglect incidents (31.1 percent of incidents).

Family services

  • At 42.1 percent, alcohol and drug issues represented the largest single family stress factor when child abuse/neglect was present. The next most common stressors were domestic violence (31.7 percent) and parental involvement with law enforcement (27.0 percent).
  • 34 percent of children served with an in-home case during the year received family-based services.
  • A total of 9,140 children were served in their homes.

Foster care

  • 13,291 children spent at least one day in some kind of foster care (8,466 children on an average daily basis).
  • 5,830 children were in family foster care on an average daily basis, with almost 30 percent of those placed with relatives.
  • 58.1 percent of children leaving foster care were reunited with their families.
  • There were 4,429 certified family foster homes in 2009.
  • Of children served in foster care, 62.5 percent were Caucasian, 6.4 percent did not have race recorded, 8.8 percent were Native American, 12.8 percent were Hispanic, 8.3 percent were African American, and 1.4 percent were Asian or Paci?c Islander.

Adoption services

  • 1,104 children had their adoptions ?nalized, with 32.6 percent of those children belonging to ethnic minorities. 77.8 percent of children adopted from DHS were adopted by relatives or non-relative foster parents.
  • 575 children who were adopted had siblings also adopted during the year, primarily by the same family. 294 children exited foster care to guardianships.

To download a copy of the new 2009 Child Welfare Data Book (or copies of past Status of Children reports), go to www.oregon.gov/DHS/abuse/publications/children/index.shtml.

Frequently Asked Questions

There are over 400,000 youth in foster care in the United States and over 100,000 are available for adoption. 40% of these children will wait for their forever home for over three years. Are you a potential forever family for a waiting youth?

Adoption Agency

What does the “perfect” adoptive family look like?

Our adoptive families are as diverse as the youth we serve. And, we like it that way! There is no such thing as the perfect adoptive family.

Is there a minimum amount of money a family needs to make to adopt?

No, there is no minimum amount of money a family must make.  You do not have to be wealthy to adopt.

Do I have to own my home to adopt?

No, you do not have to own your home to adopt.

Can a single applicant adopt?

Absolutely. There are many youths who specifically request a single-parent household. A Family for Every Child regularly works with single adoptive parents.

Do I have to have to be a parent already to adopt?

No, you do not have to be a parent to adopt. In fact, A Family for Every Child will work with all applicants to aid them in establishing the trauma-informed parenting skills needed in adoption.

Our Services

A Family for Every Child's Adoption Agency is committed to finding loving permanent homes for children and youth in foster care. We provide focused recruitment efforts for “hard to place” youth. Over 60% of the youth we serve identify as BIPOC and over 30% of the youth we serve identify as LGBTQIA+.

Our youth are:

    • Over the age of six,
    • Often belong to a sibling set, and
    • Have one or more elevated behavioral, psychological, or physical support need.

We are excited to support you on your adoption journey. Please do not hesitate to reach out to us for additional information. 

 
1-541-343-2856